April Showers Bring May Flowers

And April absence brings May blogging? That's my attempt at being creative. Obviously I am still working on getting back into this whole writing thing. But I still (nerdily) chuckled at my little joke.

To start us off, I wanted to talk about my (sort of) participation in Camp NaNoWriMo in April. If I would have set my goal at 10,000 words, I definitely would have achieved it. But 50,000 did not happen unfortunately, a lot due to motivation and some due to life.

The more times I set specific word goals, the more I realize that writing for word count is not for me. I would assume that this strategy is one that would motivate me, because I am such a scheduler and words are easy to schedule in each day. But I feel that sometimes it takes away from the actual writing process, and I feel rushed and/or overwhelmed (depending on the day), which makes writing not as fun. I don't have the time to really think about what I want to write and how I want to write it without feeling on the clock.

Several months into deciding on my own writing process, I 've learned that a deadline is important, but since this is my first attempt at writing a book, the higher word count is not going to get me there. Based on how I write and think and feel, I should be writing less so I don't feel pressured or guilty if I don't achieve whatever goal I have set for myself. Because there are some days where I really exceed my goal and others where I don't.

So I think this was my last time participating in NaNo, at least with this book based on where it is. I find that difficult because I really like the idea of it--writing as much as you can without thinking about it as much--but I know that it's not as realistic for me based on my personality. But I guess we'll see what happens come July 1...

Writing Update: March

I am very happy to announce that my book is now more than 30,000 words. It's not quite halfway, but moer than I've ever written for this book or any other book, which is very exciting.

I have to admit that I did think I would be further in word count after my initial momentum, but it definitely slowed down, which surprised me as I started incorporating some of what I had written back during NaNoWriMo in November.

I have learned that my story is still evolving, and the way I am writing it is evolving, too. Thanks to a suggestion from my friend Kaitlyn, I'm writing the two stories completely and then incorporating them together, which will then let me decide how to incorporate them better.

So, with about 50,000 words left to write by May 1, I will be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo again, hopefully more successfully than last year. The timing is much more ideal and with my goal to write that anyway, I feel like I'll be much more successful.

Writing Update: February

I really tried to kick it into gear this month with my writing by getting into a routine and planning for my writing times. (I also have been trying to avoid the DVR, Netflix, and Hulu during the day unless I'm folding laundry.) And it has really been successful for me. As you may have noticed, I started updating my blog more. (You're welcome, Mom!) But I also started to focus more on my novel. I have set a goal to finish it by the end of April, and I have set weekly word count goals for myself to help achieve this.

I would say that it helps that I already had nearly 28,000 words written from NaNo this past November, but in all actuality, it doesn't help a ton. Rather than finishing that draft and then reworking it to be what I want, I completely started over and will instead be going down a different path with it. Luckily, there are still parts in that draft I can use. Unluckily, it hurts my heart to cut out some of the scenes I already had written.

But I know it's for the best. On my way back from New Jersey last month, I re-outlined the book and focused it more. I added some characters, lost some characters (sorry, guys!) and adding a new frame story. While I had orignially planned on using excerpts of a letter to signify time change between the stories, I now am focusing on the relationship between my main character and her granddaughter, giving her granddaugher more of a story, too. I am really happy with this change, as I was able to really expand on my opening scene and make it much stronger. (It went from 500 words to almost 5,000 words! Plus interesting plot development.)

I also changed the perspective from first person to third person, which is mostly working out for the better. There are still some parts that would be easier to write in first, I think, but I like that writing in third is forcing me to "show, not tell" more so than when writing in first. The main challenge I have is trying to figure out what to call my characters in the scenes (prounouns, by name, by relationship?)

One major change in my writing process is that I'm writing chronologically, which also seems to be helping. Back in November, I was skipping all over the place, which made it hard for me to really determine what scenes needed to be added and which needed to be flushed out. It is not easy for me to keep going, because sometimes I have a great idea for a scened I want to start mostly because I'm hating the scene I'm currently writing. But in the long run, I think writing this way will make the book stronger overall and more seamless for me when writing.

Current Word Count: 11,184

Writing Update: All Over The Road

Every Sunday that I can, I listen to "Bob Kingsley's Country Top 40," because it reminds me of home--my mom and I used to listen to it on the way to and from church, and it just makes my Sundays feel a little more home-y. Sometimes Nathan and I are working on house projects, sometimes I'm picking up the house and getting ready for the upcoming week, sometimes we're out running around town. I will take what I can get normally, but it's a really fun day when I get listen from 40 to 1 and hear all of the songs, the listener requests, and, unfortunately, the Netflix commercials.

Yesterday, Bob (yes, we're on a first name basis) was talking about the phrase "all over the road" (because it's the name of Easton Corbin's new album), and I thought that it was the perfect way to sum up my recent writing experiences.

Perhaps I am too much of a multitasker, but it seems I can't focus on just one project--I have to have several going at a time. First, I outlined a book, worked on it a little, then decided (again) to back to my very first original idea that I was working on for the first Camp NaNo, and outline it to see if it would be more inspiring to write. Now poor second book got pushed aside while I work on the first one. I guess it's a good thing that I have two books going at once, but I suppose the challenge will be finishing one of them before starting something else.

I have also started to set a schedule for myself so my writing becomes more of a priority. At 3:00 every day I can, I settle down at my desk to at least write somethign, which many authors recommend. At the moment I don't have a set amount of time/words/scenes I have to work on, rather I write while I feel like it and then move on. It is working pretty well actually, and I'm not surprised. For someone who loves routine and organization, it sure took me a while to add some structure to my often-chaotic schedule.

Toastmasters Speech: Learning Vocal Variety

One of my more challenging speeches for Toastmasters was Vocal Variety. Because I don't think as much about how things sound rather than how they read, my voice generally sounds the same throughout the whole speech I'm giving. So I had to come up with a topic that would force me to use different voices. I had written a post for my friend Laura's blog on audio books, and adjusted it so that I could give it as a speech. Here is what I came up with:

When I was little, or should I say, young, there were many professions I thought of pursuing when I grew up. Of course, I considered the traditional professions: doctor, teacher, ballerina. But there were also the slightly odd: person in the picture that came with the photo frame and audio book narrator. While none of these quite panned out, I have actually become somewhat of an audio book connoisseur, thanks to long road trips back to Denver and driving all over town for my actual job. And tonight, I’m going to share with you what I have learned.

When choosing an audio book right off the bat, you have to consider the genre, just like you would a regular book. There are audio books that can teach you things, such as languages or how to be responsible with your finances. There are nonfiction books, such as biographies, history books, political books, and self-help books. And then there are fiction books, which I prefer simply because I like a good story. Generally speaking, I tend to play it safe and pick books I would want to read anyway, because if you’re stuck in the car for eight hours, you don’t want to listen to something that doesn’t interest you.

You also need to consider the narrator. While you could pick an audio book by the narrator, I’m guessing most people, like myself, have an author and subject preference and not an actual narrator preference. So, you’ll have to give the book a test listen. This is very important because otherwise you might find yourself without a book because you can’t stand the person’s voice. This has happened several times for me—as it turns out, it is not authentic, but actually really difficult to listen to someone with a british accent read Sense and Sensibility. And while I’m sure Three Cups of Tea is a wonderful book, the narrator had a very nasally voice.

Finally, you need to remember that there might be surprises along the way. For example, many audio books incorporate sound effects. When driving to South Dakota on our very first road trip, I made Nathan listen to “Little Town On The Prairie” so he could prepare for the destination—Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home.  I love Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and everything was going fine until the fiddle started playing, and the narrator started singing. Badly.  And they sing a lot in that book. You also should bring tissues if you check out books by authors such as Nicholas Sparks, as it is a lot more realistic listening to the book than reading it. Finally, remember that unlike a real book, other people can hear the audio book you are listening to if they borrow your car. I was listening to Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler, which was maybe not quite appropriate to be on when Nathan took my father-in-law to the hardware store in my car. All I’m saying is, be prepared.

Audio books are a great alternative to music on long road trip or even just as you drive around town. I hope that you will remember some of these tips and apply them to your audio book choices.

Toastmasters Speech: Learning Body Language

Since it is Toastmasters day today, I thought I'd share the speech I gave a couple of weeks ago. At the time it was five days before Shelby's adopt-iversary, and since the speech focus was "your body speaks," I decided to improvise some of Shelby's movements. So, whenver you see me describing a look, or see the word this, imagine me pretending to be Shelby.

I have never considered myself to be a dog person. I mean, sure, I like dogs and I loved our family dogs, but I never understood the people who are crazy over their dogs. You know, the people who talk about dogs like they’re children, the people who let their dogs sleep in the bed, the people who take their dogs everywhere they possibly can. And then we got Shelby.

Shelby the sheltie joined our family almost a year ago. We got her from a friend of a friend—they had two puppies left in a litter that had been born in June, meaning Shelby was four months old when we got her. And we were perhaps irresponsible dog owners, in that we did basically no research on the breed before we got her.

Here’s how I decided I wanted I wanted a sheltie. I found some at a local rescue and decided they were cute. I sent the link to my friend Leah, who said, Trent and Jess have sheltie puppies, let’s go look at them this weekend. So off she, Nathan, and I went to “look at the puppies.” We watched the two puppies play together and played with them, and then, when she got tired, Shelby climbed right into Nathan’s lap. Obviously, we were heading to PetCo to get supplies for our new puppy within the hour. And so started our journey with Shelby.

As we later found out, Shelties are known for being loving, loyal, affectionate, and willing to please and obey. They are also very vocal and expressive dogs.  And Shelby is no exception. She is our little shadow, We have learned a lot about Shelby over the course of the year, and she really is like a furry little person, with her own personality and expressions. That’s right—my dog has expressions. And tonight, I’m going to demonstrate some of them for you, as they are really the best way to get to know Shelby.

The first, most essential Shelby look is “the potty look,” which looks like this. When we brought Shelby home, Trent and Jess had already been working on potty-training her, so she was familiar with the concept. And during the first week, Nathan figured out that this meant I need to go outside. So really, potty-training Shelby was pretty easy. However, she soon figured out that if she wanted to go outside, all she had to do was tilt her head and we would stop whatever we were doing to take her out, even if she didn’t really need to go and all she wanted to do was play fetch. While we tried to break her of this habit, it was often met with the I’m so cute so give me what I want look. She also used this look to get us to let her start sitting on the furniture and sleeping on the bed. What can I say, it’s hard to say no to this.

This next look is not to be confused with the potty look. It is instead the look Shelby uses to communicate with us (demonstrate). When we talk to her or ask her questions, she’ll respond with head tilts. Now, I’m pretty sure she can’t actually understand what we’re saying most of the time, but, there have been some instances where I think she can. For example, we were talking about what flavor of food we should get for her next: chicken, beef, deer, rabbit, or duck. She’s She sat there listening tilting her head, and when we said duck, she went like this. So we bought her the duck and since then, she’s eating like a normal dog rather than picking at it like she was before. Maybe she understands us after all.

The best Shelby look is what we like to call big toothy grin, which looks like this. She did this a lot when she was a puppy and was very happy with whatever she was doing—playing fetch, doing her obstacle course, chewing up shoes—that kind of thing. She doesn’t do big toothy grin very often anymore though, and instead just smiles.

Other expressions in Shelby’s repertoire include the glare, the stoic look, the wink, and the I’m watching you look. And if you’re not watching her when she wants you to be watching her, she will paw at your hand like this until you start paying attention to her.

As you can see, Shelby is very good at expressing herself in ways that we understand. Or maybe after a year, we’ve just come to an understanding. And maybe, after a year, I’m one of those crazy dog people after all.
I thought the speech went really well, but I was surprised by the feedback, most particuarly the comment that I was using the word "and" too often. I am not sure if it is a "speech" thing, but I am curious about the hatred for conjunctions--there have been other times people comment on using and, but, or, etc. at the beginning of sentences and how this is "bad grammar." I personally love using these words at the start of my sentences (and I'm sure if you go back and read this, you could have a rather fun drinking game with my use of conjunctions), so it might just be something I have to accept that I will be called out on.

Toastmasters Speech: In Which I Learn To Improvise

Last night was my third toastmasters speech, which was "organize the speech" or something similar. I wanted to talk about sorority recruitment, as this is currently the week that UNL has "rush." (I know, scandalous that I just called it that!) I though when I wrote it, it could be super funny and light and fun, while also being very organized and to the point. And then I wrote it, practiced it, and hated it. It was none of the above.

When I got to the podium, however, I was struck with inspiration, and it ended up being super funny and light and fun, and everyone laughed. I was not nervous, I did hand gestures, and again, improvised it. It was an awesome feeling, and I was really proud of what I had come up with.

I think it was the first lesson in speaking. I thought initially that because I could write speeches that were good, I could give speeches that are good. But there is a huge difference, because with speaking, what you come up with on the fly (that's right, you don't PLAN it) ends up being better than what you wrote.

However, here's the written out speech. And because my improved first line made me laugh a lot, I'll share it first, so you can see the difference.

Improved First Line: I am not a typical sorority girl, as I quickly learned while trying to discuss The Sun Also Rises with the guy manning the keg at a frat party. (and yes, my speech had other references to The Sun Also Rises. It's like it's my favorite book or something.)

In contrast, here is my written out speech:

Certain times of the year always bring back memories for me, and this week is one of them. For four years in college, I spent the week before school started at sorority recruitment—and, if I’m being honest, four years in college, I spent the week before that dreading it. But now that I’m no longer actually part of the sorority recruitment process, it’s easier to see that despite how hard it is, I learned valuable lessons those four years.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the sorority recruitment process as a “potential new member,” it is a week-long opportunity to visit houses on campus to see which is right for you before accepting a bid to join a house. You visit eight houses the first day, five the second, and three the third. You see slideshows and skits, eat lots of food, and participate in lots of small talk and singing. That’s right—singing. After all of this, you make your choice and hope that the house you want also wants you and you’ll get to go there on the last day, bid day.

That first year, going through the process I just described, I learned that no matter how much you stress out about something, everything works out in the end. I had not intended to go through sorority recruitment, and when I decided to, I did a lot of research on the houses I thought I wanted to be a part of. I recently found these notes, and the house I ended up in was the one with the least amount of notes. But looking back, it was the house that I was most comfortable in, and the house where I connected with most of the girls. I spent so much of that week crying and worrying and stressing over not getting into the right house, that I didn’t even realize that maybe I had already found the right house all along. Seven years later, I still worry and stress and maybe even cry about other situations, but it’s easier for me to see that what’s right will happen whether I worry or not.
As I went through my freshman year, I couldn’t wait for the next recruitment season. There was no way that it could be any harder than what I’d gone through the year before, because now, I was in control. But I was way wrong. It was harder. On top of all of the prep work that goes into recruitment week, you have to learn how to talk to potential new members. I believe this was my earliest introduction to small talk with a purpose. While talking to potential new members, you not only had to learn enough about them to see if they would be a good fit for the house, but also keep them interested in the house, sell them on the house, and hope they didn’t actually hear how bad of a singer you are. However, I find that I use these skills in my current job—the small talk skills, not the singing skills. I have to know what I’m talking about, sell people on what I’m talking about, and do so in a short period of time.

I was actually excited about recruitment the summer before my junior year. I was ready to move back into the house with my best friend and see everyone again. I was no longer going through recruitment, I had hopefully mastered the skills necessary to be successful at recruitment, and my best friend was in charge of the food, which meant that when I was helping her, I got to actually leave the house. Certainly this would be the best year. And it almost was. The first day, I was out giving house tours and meeting girls, but by the second day, I was back helping Meagan in the kitchen. My biggest fear going into the sorority process the two years before was that I would get caught up in girl drama, which is not me, and let’s just say that recruitment brings out a lot of girl drama. The lesson that year, perhaps the most valuable lesson I learned, was the importance of standing up for what you believe in.

The last year, I had taken over the kitchen, and while I learned how to shop and prepare acceptable recruitment food for hundreds of girls, the lesson I learned during my final recruitment was the value of memories. Even though it seems like I learned a lot of hard lessons during the first three years, my last year was one I’ll never forget. Because it was fun. On top of being in charge of the kitchen, Kaitlyn and I lived off campus, which gave us a lot more freedom than living in the house did. The memories of us goofing off in the kitchen while making fruit pizza and driving around to every grocery store looking for flavored syrups are simple, but they are happy. And in terms of the house, the traditions that we did every year during recruitment had more meaning as a senior, and really encapsulated everything a sorority can be. So while not as valuable or applicable to my professional live, this lesson applies to my every days, and lets me think fondly back on my sorority recruitment.

Rereading this today, I think that this is much more organized than what I actually gave, but apparently that didn't matter as much as I thought it did. I have to admit though, the problem with just improvising is how excited I get. Excited Whitney is fast-talking Whitney, which apparently doesn't bode well for speaking. Oh well.

Toastmasters Speech: The Words Of Whitney

This is the first actual toastmasters speech I gave, meaning it was from the manual. You'll have to remember that because it's a speech, it is much more effective spoken rather than read on my blog. Unfortunately, I don't plan to film my speeches for you all to see (haha). But I actually thought it turned out OK, considering I procrastinated it until the last minute.


When I gave my first speech for toastmasters, I uncharacteristically went out of order in the manual and skipped over the icebreaker. Afterward, many people told me that the icebreaker would be much easier for me, as it was about myself. However, I think talking about myself is a lot more difficult than talking about, well . . . anything else. While brainstorming, all I could come up with was words, and I felt really stuck, until I realized that words were the answer I had been looking for.

The written word has always been a huge part of my life. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a great speller, I have a fantastic vocabulary, or that I could take you down in a game of scrabble. No—instead, it means that as an avid reader and writer and former yearbook editor, English and journalism major, and magazine editor, I have chosen to let the written word dominate my life. Thus, it only seems fitting to let words dominate my icebreaker speech, as well.

Let’s start with the nouns. I am currently a wife, crazy dog lady, homeowner, and part-time fundraiser. I am also a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, and cousin—and you can add in-law to most of that, too. I am a blogger, facebook-addict, reality TV watcher, and library enthusiast. I have been a Coloradan, a Goddard Rocket, a Littleton Lion, and a sorority girl. And I will always be a Nebraska Cornhusker.

But as I’ve moved from different states and different schools and had different jobs, I’ve learned that it’s the adjectives that really make me who I am, and that the adjectives never change. So here are three adjectives that I think best describe me.

Particular. When my husband and I first started dating, we discovered we had one very important thing in common: neither of us liked to have our food touch the other food on the plate, and we both only eat one thing at a time. He was relieved because his family would no longer make fun of him, as they would in turn be making fun of me, and I was super glad that I finally found someone who understood the importance of using a divider plate.

Being particular falls into everything I do in my life. I have an eye for detail and am very organized. I constantly carry around my planner, and my to-do lists are cross-referenced. I am never on time—I’m always at least five minutes early, more likely 10-15 minutes early. And don’t even get me started on my closet or the Tupperware drawer, two places in the house I have to have just right. While sometimes being so particular about everything can be overwhelming, basically, I like things to be just right. 

Enthusiastic. Going along with my somewhat OCD-tendencies, I get really wrapped up in everything I do. This means I have varied interests and can often find something to talk about with people. If I’m interested in something, I’m INTERESTED in something—I tend to go through phases where I’ll learn everything I can about a particular subject until I lose eventually move on to something. I like to have opinions on topics I’m enthusiastic about, but I like to try to see both sides of an argument and often end up on the fence most of the time. But what I’m most enthusiastic about is people, which brings us to our third and final word.

Compassionate. I love people. While I’ve been told that I come off as quiet, shy, or even somewhat snotty and standoffish, I enjoy making friends and learning about people. More importantly, I like to help people, and this is why work in nonprofit drew me back in, even though going part-time has been a transition to say the least. I try to think of other people’s feelings before my own, and I am an includer, so I try to make sure people feel comfortable and welcome and invited. Mostly, I just really like learning people’s stories, because everyone has a story.

And now for some words I am not. Cook and mathematician are two that come to mind right away. But most of all, I’ve never considered myself to be a public speaker, so I hope my time as a toastmaster will change that.

My Recent Writing Life

It has taken me a long time to think of myself as a writer, even though three years ago, I was hired to be one. But after my first week of work, I decided it would be too hard and instead took the "easier" (but not, just more familiar) route of being an editor. The book I always thought I would write stays in my head, and other ideas for novels never get written down.

But lately, since leaving the actual world of publishing and starting down a different career path, I realize that while I may not fit into the definition of writer I have in my head, I sure do a lot of writing, including what you read here on my blog. But here are some excerpts of other projects I've been working on lately, which maybe explains why posting has been so sporadic!

Wedding Graduate Post: I submitted a wedding graduate post to my favorite wedding/marriage blog, A Practical Wedding. Here's my favorite part from it--if it ends up getting posted, you'll be able to read the whole thing:

It’s been almost a year since the wedding, and I learn something about marriage every day. Marriage is not about colors, registries, a pretty dress, delicious food, and spectacular photography. Marriage is about two people joining their lives together
and committing to each other, and it requires an open mind and heart, compromise, dedication, love, and the willingness to accept someone, all of someone, for who they are. Sometimes you don’t even need a wedding to have that.

Toastmasters Speech #1: For those of you who don't know, I started doing Toastmasters to help with my public speaking. It's been very rewarding so far, and while I was not quite sold on the idea at first, I really love it now. I had my first speech a week ago, and while I need to work on pacing, it went really well. I did not follow the manual and start with an "icebreaker," but instead did a speech that I could use while speaking from a campaign. I used the theme of a $100 bill throughout, which tied into a story I told about my high school graduation day.

On the day of my high school graduation, the superintendent of Littleton Public Schools taped a 100 dollar bill to the bottom of one lucky student’s chair as a way of demonstrating success. Although I was not the recipient of said 100 dollar bill, I remember thinking that 100 dollars was a LOT of money and there were so many things I could do with it.

Toastmasters Speech #2: This was the speech I was working on before I did my practice work speech. It's the traditional first speech, called an icebreaker, about yourself, so other members can get to know you. Everyone says this one is easier, but I have to admit, I find it difficult to write about myself. This is my intro, and it's currently all I have written, but because this topic fits into the blog a little better than the first speech I gave, I'll definitely share it when I'm done.

The written word has always been a huge part of my life. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a great speller, I have a fantastic vocabulary, or that I could take you down in a game of scrabble. No—instead, it means that as an avid reader and writer and former yearbook editor, English and journalism major, and magazine editor, I have chosen to let the written word dominate my life, if you will. And so, I think the best way for all of you to get to know me is through some words that I think best describe me.

Let’s start with the nouns. I am currently a wife, crazy dog lady, homeowner, and part-time fundraiser. I am also a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, and cousin—and you can add in-law to most of that, too. I have been a Coloradan, a Goddard Rocket, a Littleton Lion, and a sorority girl. I am a friend. And I will always be a Nebraska Cornhusker.

But as I’ve moved from different states and different schools and had different jobs, I’ve learned that it’s the adjectives that really make me who I am. And while we're on the topic of writing, there's an article in my Toastmasters magazine that talks about speechwriting, and I think this part applies to all writing. It's what I find myself stuck on doing, and even did it while writing this post:

"Speechwriters say it's important to discipline yourself to write a first draft all the way through without getting too self-critical at this stage of the process. All good speechwriting, it seems, is rewriting. And until you have enough words on the screen and have let your copy 'go cold' for a sufficient amount of time, you can't effectively return to start honing, reorganizing, or 'wordsmithing' your content." --Speechwriting Tips From The Pros, by Dave Zielinksi, Toastmaster July 2011

Definitely something to important as we start, and complete, projects, writing or otherwise.

What's Today's World Like For Writers?

We interrupt our Christmas 2010 series of posts to talk about what today's world is like for writers, at least in terms of publishing and sharing writing, and this article from the Boston Review: Books After Amazon. The fact of the matter is, it's changing. Think about the two historically dominant ways of publishing your writing: Journalism (magazines, newspapers, etc.) and books. These two industries are in a time of crazy transition.

When I majored in journalism, I had a romanticized vision what I would be doing: Something more similar to scenes from All The President's Men, or at least my high school yearbook than what I actually found journalism to be. The invention of the Internet put the journalism world (as it's always been) in danger, because it's nearly impossible for newspapers to get the scoop in a traditional format when competing against major news sites, such as CNN, or even their own Internet sites.

And the writing has changed, as well. You want to make sure you get the story up as quickly as possible, and that leaves less time with the writing in terms of capturing a story and making sure facts are accurate. You're writing for an audience that doesn't actually want to read it; instead, they want the main points as quickly as possible so they can move to the next thing. Everything is available on the Internet, so fewer people want subscriptions, and thus, magazines and newspapers rely more on advertising, which in turn affects content. Rather than having a "watchdog" purpose, it's a "sponsored" approach. It's all about the money, which is like a double-edged sword: You need the money to continue producing content, but then you end up in a relationship where your content is affected by money.

The same goes for book publishing, according to the article:
One editor at a major publishing house, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity for fear of employer sanctions, told me that agents of Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Target are frequent participants in meetings about potential books. Without their buy-in, the publisher is unlikely to go forward with a book. Ideas that excite independents might be scrapped if they don’t get a chain’s stamp of approval.
So, as the article continues, it means publishers are less likely to take a chance on a book from someone who might be talented, but unkown, because while independent bookstores might have, the chains won't, because the book may or may not sell as well as one from someone who's already well-known. And that's a scary thought, for all of us who have not yet published anything. It turns out writing the next great American novel might be easier than actually getting the next great American novel published.

Add to all of this the invention of the ebook/ereader, plus big Internet sites, such as Amazon (the main point of the article), subtract independent booksellsers, and you're left with a publishing world that seems to be up in the air a little bit, in terms of what it means for new writers, and I'm not sure how long that will last.

Of course, I think it's important to point out that this change can be positive. It's so easy to self-publish nowadays, because we have more mediums than just books and newspapers and magazines to get our writing out there. For example, this blog. Blogs let people "publish" their writing, if you go by the very basic definition in that you're getting your writing out there for others to read. There's self-publishing software available, if you want to create your own ebook for certain ereaders. So, despite the changes, there are options. They're different options, that's for sure, and it's just still unclear whether the impact of the Internet is good, bad, or just a change. Personally, I'm skeptical of letting ebooks take over books, amazon crushing publishing and book buying as we know it, and advertising dictating journalism, BUT on the other hand, I think there can be benefits of these changes if they're happening anyway. What do you think?

On Being Discouraged

So, NaNoWriMo is not going well for me, and I'm feeling a little discouraged. I'm not saying that because I need the encouragement you all would offer me if I did (because you're awesome), but more because I want to address an important question: What discourages us as we pursue our goals? (writing or otherwise)  

Monday, day 1, I wrote 1,200 words, as I mentioned, and I'm resisting the urge to say ONLY 1,200 words because I can recognize that 1,200 is more than I've ever written before and I should be proud of myself for doing something I didn't think I could do. But then I got stuck. I mean really stuck, and I found that I wasn't a fan of where I was taking my characters. Or really, the characters themselves. They were nothing like they were in my head, and that was discouraging. Yesterday, I had a horrible headache and all I wanted to do was lie on the couch with Nathan and Shelby with my warmie on my head, which I did, but I felt like I was betraying writer Whitney and the goal that I had set for myself that night (two hours of writing). Betrayal=discouraged.

 

Tonight, I don't think I'll have time to write because we're having a clean up the house night, which Nathan pointed out we needed and he's right. I don't think the house has recovered from the constant reorganization I've done since I've moved it. I've never actually completed the projects I've started, and our stuff from the wedding is still not where it logically makes sense. And that bothers me about as much as it bothers him. And we need to get Shelby a baby gate so she's not right next to the room with the broken furnace that could be leaking carbon monoxide. Dealing with real life=discouraged. I know that these sound like excuses (maybe because they are?), and that really, if I stayed up all night and wrote, I would have met my goal. But I don't think that would make me happy. In fact, I imagine I would be significantly unpleasant to deal with.  

I look at all of the people who have written a published book, or even a not published book, or even a few chapters, and wonder how they did it. I mean, even people who aren't real can write books. So what makes these people different? Do they have personal assistants or clones to go to work for them, cook dinner and clean their houses, take care of their kids and pets, spend time with their significant others? Some might for all I know. But when I think about it, I think the real difference is that they are inspired by their ideas, inspired by what they want to write.  

When I attended the literary seminar in Key West, I remember an author, I think it was Valerie Martin, who talked about how your characters should overtake your brain and almost become a second person living inside your head (I'm paraphrasing--that's definitely a combination of my memory of the talk from almost two years ago and my interpretation of what she actually said). And right now, I feel like my character is more like a baby who hasn't been born yet living inside my head--she's there, but doesn't have much to say. I'm not truly inspired to write her story yet, because she hasn't grown into someone whose story I want to tell. I can't even think of a name for her. And I could just start over with a completely different story, but I don't want to lose her. I still have the story in my head, I'm just not ready to write, because I'm not engrossed yet. And if I'm not engrossed, why should anyone else be? 

I think circumstances also play a lot into feeling discouraged. I know that there is no time like the present to pursue your goals, but sometimes, the present IS a really inconvenient time to take on huge tasks. For example, when I think about the time I spent writing on Monday, it felt more like homework. I got distracted, I left a few times to go spend time with Nathan and Shelby because I missed them (I know, I know, they were only in the next room, but still). And my new sewing machine, still sitting in the box in the same spot it was when it was delivered, is taunting me. And so are the canisters I need to list on Etsy. So is the wedding closet that I desperately need to go through so I can find new homes for everything. My baby calendars are designed, but not printed and assembled. And even though these things seem like they should not distract me from my overall goal, write a novel, they do. Because it's almost as though those are things I'd rather be doing.   

 

So, if I'm not feeling inspired, and the circumstances aren't right and I'm not working on my goal, of course I'm going to feel discouraged. But then when I think about it, why am I making myself feel guilty for not doing something I want to do by doing other things I want to do? I wear many hats in my life. (note: a lot of our IT articles talk about IT staff wearing many different hats and it cracks me up every time. And then today, I read this post that talked about wearing different hats in a very creative way.) What makes the writer hat more important than all of the other hats, just because it's the overall goal I want most? Maybe that's my answer, but I think that taking the time to be emotionally invested in what I'm writing is going to be more beneficial for me and lead to less discouragement. I'm sure there will be different kinds of discouragement when I am ready to write, also known as writer's block, but at least if I do some research and spend the time learning about what I want to write about, I'll feel better about it.  

 

So that's my new goal for NaNoWriMo. I do still want to spend this month writing, even if it's not a novel. However, I will start taking the time for my novel, by researching and developing my characters and getting into the habit of writing, without forcing myself into something that I don't feel inspired by and just feeling discouraged. And to take the time that I need to be able to be happy doing that by finishing my other projects. Which I am sure I will be blogging about.   I feel kind of discouraged by this decision, mostly because I do feel like I'm giving up on something I didn't even start. But I know that I'll be happier in the long run and more motivated and inspired when I decide I'm actually ready to write. Because I know that I will be able to when I'm ready. And you'll be the first to know.